He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
