I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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