I'm going to jail i love you
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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