he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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