I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
