You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
