That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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