I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize
