if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
