i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You are a booty call, not a friend.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
