fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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