haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
