he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you didnt know i had herpes?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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