I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
