no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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