hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
