i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
