Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
