So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
