Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
