I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
