Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
