May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
