Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
