I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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