I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
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