so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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