He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
