think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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