i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Randomize
