Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
