Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
