She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
