I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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