He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I am naked and annoyed.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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