Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Pants are for mortals
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
