How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
