Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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