if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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