Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My hand turned me down
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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