Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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