I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
