dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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