Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
