I forgot how hot balto sounded
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
