She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
