it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
