Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
