Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
