I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
