My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
